This morning I was reading chapter one of
Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller and besides getting a kick in the rear end, it reminded me of the ways God has worked in my life. Throughout the Bible we see God acting and then having the Israelites (His chosen people) perform tasks or celebrations so that they can remember what He has done. But even with those yearly reminders, they forget! And it always blows me away. But if I look at my life, how many times have I had to learn certain lessons over and over and over again?
The main point of chapter one was that the reason God doesn't give us the desires of
our hearts is because 1) He's actually the One that knows best and what we really want and 2) that if He immediately just gave us what we wanted (or thought we wanted), we would turn those things into idols and push God to the side. How can we even
think of pushing God, the Creator or the universe, to the side for some of the crazy silly things we want and put importance on?? But... we do it all the time. Shoot, I'm the worst at doing it!
As I was reading of Tim Keller's example of Abraham and how he and his wife Sarah longed for a son, I couldn't help but think of how my life mirrored theirs... not for want of a son (yet) but for a husband. God created us to be in community, to have people that loved us and to love others. But even with all of my amazing family and wonderful friends and amazing church community, I still longed for a husband to partner with for life! Someone to call mine, someone to live everyday life with, someone to go to sleep with and wake up to every day, someone to wash clothes for, someone to brush my teeth with at night... yet year after year, birthday after birthday, Christmas after Christmas, I continued to do those things alone.
But now, at the age of 32, God has brought us together. We're married! I have my partner, my teammate, my cohort! I waited SO long (although not as long as Abraham (100) and Sarah (90) did for their son) and I'm beyond thrilled that we get to spend the rest of our lives together. But... if I'm not careful, if I'm not intentional about keeping God first in my life, Ben will become my idol. And, as much as I love him, as wonderful as he is, as much as he loves me... he's going to fail me and disappoint me. And I'm very much going to do the same to and for him! Neither of us are perfect. But God is. And He's who we want to lead us and love us.
I'm thankful for the reminders of memories that God has left in my head. I'm thankful for the lonely nights, the tears, the frustration, the days of asking over and over, "God, where is the man you have for me??" And I'm thankful that through each of those days and those seasons, that God was steadfast. His promises in His Word to love me and care for me and provide for me were always true and I always had Him to run to.
Ben is an incredible man and I'm thankful, honored, and dumbfounded that I get to be his wife. But my prayer, and his, is that we never put the other before God.
We ventured out one night while on our honeymoon with my camera and tripod in hand. After several attempts, we got this shot. What I remember is ripping a hole in my jeans as I bent down to get things set up. What Ben remembers is me screaming and jumping for joy that I was able to capture this :-) I love this man...